By Christina Lorenzen
Every parent wants to see their child succeed in school. Whether their child is just getting started or approaching a school milestone, such as the beginning of middle school, parents all have some common expectations. Parents want their children to be happy at school. Parents also expect their child’s school will be an environment where learning is encouraged and a love of learning fostered. After all, if a child is not enjoying the learning process, they will not be happy. And an unhappy child is not going to learn. The most common question parents ask themselves is, “how can I tell if my child is getting what they need at school?”
Getting to know your child’s teacher
Most public schools hold a meet the teacher night at the beginning of the school year. While this often occurs at one of the busiest times of the year for parents, parents need to attend. To get the most out of an opportunity to get to know your child’s teacher, take along a list of questions to determine who their teacher is. You are entrusting your child’s well being to this person for six hours a day. Ask them why they care about being an educator. This bit of information can tell you a lot about their interest in your child’s education.
The environment has a great influence on your child’s learning experience. Ask questions about how the teacher creates an environment where your child will feel safe not only physically but emotionally. A child should feel safe to ask questions and feel safe when they get those answers wrong. A teacher sets the classroom’s tone by letting children know they will not be made fun of or ridiculed when they don’t know an answer.
In a changing world every day, how will this teacher prepare your child to meet the challenges they undoubtedly will face as they progress in their education? Ask your child’s teacher this question. As a parent, you want to know that during the nine months they have your child in their class, they will be helping them learn skills and adopt a mindset that will be crucial to their future educational success.
Getting to know what your child is learning
Parents may have limited chances to get to know their child’s teacher. While the opportunity to meet the teacher at school might only come once a year, it’s important, to begin with, for the teacher to find out if your child is getting what they need at school. After talking to the teacher, spending time talking to your child about their school day is key to finding out how they are doing at school and how they feel about school.
The age of your child should be taken into consideration when you are planning to have these conversations. Older children, in particular preteens and teens, often see lots of questions coming from parents as an interrogation. Make this opportunity more of a casual, relaxed time together and let your child lead the discussion. A child in a comfortable environment will be open to sharing his or her feelings, giving you a better picture of how they are doing in school. Have a few questions to ask in mind but be flexible in your wording and if your child latches on to one subject, let them run with it. If they feel they aren’t being judged or corrected when they speak, they will be more comfortable sharing with you.
Signs that your child may not be getting what they need in school:
Education isn’t a one size fits all approach. Sometimes even with the best teacher’s efforts, your child may struggle to learn. It might be one subject, such as math, or it might be the curriculum in general. When a child is struggling to learn, it’s because they need a different approach or a different timeline to work with. Unfortunately, today’s public-school classrooms don’t have the capability to tailor education to each child’s needs. When a child struggles to learn, a parent might see several signs telling them action is required.
One of the most common signs that your child struggles to learn is expressing it verbally by saying they hate school. Schools are for learning. Children, by nature, are learners, little sponges that absorb everything. Young children are most receptive to learning, so if your child is saying they hate school, there is something wrong. The worst thing to do is dismiss what they are saying. Listen to your child. Sit down with them and ask why they hate school. Their answer is your first clue to what you need to do.
A second common sign your child is struggling in school is coming home from school grouchy and tired. Every child has an occasional hard day in school. Like adults who have those occasional, ‘nothing went right’ days at work, children deal with hard days too. But if your child is coming home consistently irritable, these are signs their educational experiences are not stimulating their learning. Too many days spent like this can cripple the learning process.
A third common sign your child is struggling or not learning in school is their lack of excitement. Whether your child is an elementary student or a high school student, they should be sharing some interesting or exciting thing that happened in their day. Contrary to what many people think, the school should be a fun and engaging place to be. Would you want to spend six hours a day in a place where you didn’t feel engaged in what you do all day long? Neither should your child.
Lastly, if your child has lost interest in creative play such as art, music, or dancing, this is a sign they are not getting the opportunity to express their creative abilities. Sadly, today’s schools run on budgets that no longer see these creative pursuits as an important part of a well-rounded academic curriculum. Often considered secondary to academic subjects, they are the first to go when the budget ax comes down. Not being given artistic or musical outlets within the school environment devalues these interests in children. These natural talents go unrecognized with little opportunity to grow. Creativity, whether in music, art, or dance, is integral to the learning experience.
Getting to know your options to get what your child needs
In the end, no one knows your child as you do. No one is as invested in your child’s education as much as you are. Determining whether your child is getting what they need at school starts with getting to know their teacher. Ultimately, telling if your child is truly getting what they need at school means knowing your child and knowing the signs that say otherwise.